it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
