Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
two words...techno handjob
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Randomize
