so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Randomize
