i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
