My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
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