If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Randomize
