i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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