Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
