just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
