I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
