He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Randomize
