We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
His hands were made for my vagina.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
