just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Randomize
