I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
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