it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Randomize
