yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
