Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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