i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
