Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize
