I wannas sexs uuuuu
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Randomize
