He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
