When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
