They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
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So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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