Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
