I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Randomize
