I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
How does it feel to date your dad?
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Randomize
