oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
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