from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
How does one acquire holy water?
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
