Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
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