So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Randomize
