Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
