The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
