alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
