yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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