Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
