So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
