He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
