I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
I just gift wrapped bread.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
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