I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Randomize
