I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
