Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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