Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
