I am in a vortex of obligation.
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
