So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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