I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
