My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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