please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
