it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
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