You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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