Can Purell be used as lube?
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
It's never too late to be topless.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
