Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
