you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
